Happy new year.
I’m still so fucking hurt. I believed–all these years–that you could be inseparable, that finally, forever may exist. But I was so wrong–like all the time–because the most unexpected ones left. It wouldn’t be called leaving if they didn’t leave someone behind, but they left the ones so close to them that it felt like detaching your own arms from yourself. I’m still so fucking wretched, seeing the ones left behind struggling by themselves to move on. They feel not even half as miserable as me–they’re almost dead, if they didn’t hold onto each other. It’s still so sad that it has to come out of Sehun’s own mouth, “It’s the scariest thing in the world to be left by the people beside you.” Why do they have to go through this? It’s so frustrating to see them standing on the stage, leaving a spot for that someone who will never claim that place once again. It’s so fucking depressing that they wouldn’t talk bad things of that person and just say, “I fought so hard to protect this group,” only to mean that Taeyeon fought so hard to keep their friendship intact. I’m so crestfallen to see them like this, still trying to give us the cheeriest smiles when inside, another string just broke.
The year is ending, but the pain isn’t. The year is ending, but the memories still keep flowing back. The year is ending and we are all still miserable as we have been yesterday.