Deer of the Dawn

by etherealwishes

Knowing that he stood up for himself, I feel that he made the right decision. In the next days, I’m probably going to tell people that I support his decision, but my heart says no. I’m in so much pain, longing, and I might even be feeling betrayed.

Why do the people you love the most leave you? They sure can but they have a choice whether they should stay or leave and knowing the fact that they chose to leave than to stay when they have the capacity to choose otherwise hurts me the most. I’m so doubtful of everyone already. The pain that I probably inflicted upon myself by not being able to control my emotions for them taught me lessons that I will never forget. Every person who comes in our life are bound to leave sooner or later. They will leave us and they will not realize how much pain they will inflict on us. We will always be left behind. We have no one but ourselves and God.

Luhan, I know you are in pain as well but this is your choice and be sure never to regret it. Never regret it. I will never regret loving you as well even if it hurts me so much to know that I will never see you in flesh and that my tears have no impact and will never have an impact on you. I will still always watch you from afar. I will still be just your fan. I will still remember you in stars that twinkle at night, in lights that shimmer at the dark & in the flame that gleams on the hardest nights. You will forever be that little glimmer in my heart that I will hold on to in the hardest days, even if you are the reason why my days have been the most difficult now. Wo ai ni, Lu Han. I will miss you.