Today, my psychology professor asked us, “Anyone who thinks they deserve to be seated at the front row, raise your hand.” Surprisingly, my classmate who did not have much participation as me raised her hand and my professor said, “I think so too.” Seeing what happened, my classmates asked me to raise my hand too. I thought I deserved it as well but something stopped me. Something always stops me. In the end, I did not get to be at the front row seats. I did not regret not being there but what I feel bad about is the force that always stops me. Why can’t I stand up for myself? Why am I not braver? Why do I think that I don’t deserve anything?
And this only sums up to one thing. I am so unhealthy.